Written by Agnes Knowles
Imagine me sitting here patiently awaiting your answer…
I can hear some of you now:
■ but I’m married.
■ Ha! at my age?
■ Those days are long past
■ Me? A date?
I do have a reason for asking that question and it’s all about you.
The story of an interview …
Yesterday I had an interview with someone who has a lot of credibility for me. Although it was long distance via computer chat, the video camera would be rolling and I wanted to look great!
The Morning Routine
Most of my morning routine was the same as usual – the shower, the face cream, the body lotion (well, maybe a little extra lotion on my neck and chest to moisten up the crepe paper that’s grown there lately!) – but then the routine definitely changed.
Changing the routine
I had to dab on a bit of hair gel to control that unruly bit; mascara – took quite a bit of time on that so it looked like I actually had lashes; my favourite boat neck top in an appropriate Fall colour; and then the beautiful earrings my daughter brought from Spain. The lower half fortunately didn’t matter as this was a head and shoulders only interview. Finally, in deference to the computer, I spent more than a little time on the lighting.
An hour later it was done. Lights off, laptop closed, time to walk the dog… and I felt great!
The lights had warmed up the room so I had the rosy cheeks usually attributed to 2 glasses of wine. I liked what I was wearing, I liked the face that smiled back at me in the mirror. It was such a change from the woman who usually sat working at her computer for much of her day.
Yes, it IS all about you.
I said it was all about you and here’s where you learn how.
I set the scene above because I’m what you’d call a “low maintenance” kind of woman. Most of the above-mentioned preparation rarely happens. Perhaps because of that rarity, I really noticed and appreciated the feeling I went through the day with, knowing I’d started the day with some extra attention.
Are you Putting Time into Your Self-care?
How often do you put a little extra into your self-care as if for a special date? If you’re also “low maintenance” then spiffing yourself up might mean a blouse instead of a tee or shoes instead of runners. If you already put great care into how the world sees you, you might need to find that lovely sweater that really sets off your eyes or put on those boots whose heels are just a little higher than usual. Only you can define what the extra will look like on your date.
Defining your Date
Don’t read too much into that word date. It can be a date with your spouse or a friend; it could also be a date with the dentist, or a neighbour, or an anonymous soul on a park bench. If you’ve never tried speed-dating, go to the mall and stop into every shop there and chat with a clerk. It’s mostly a matter of marking a day, time and place on the calendar and following through with self-love, then showing the world. You are worth it!!
All Excuses are Equal
I heard that “But…”. I did. I heard it from several of you and then you followed up with what that other person said or the look they gave you. If you’re giving them power, it’s no longer about you, and this is about you.
Did your spouse give you a suspicious look and ask what you were doing? How disarming would it be to suggest they find a nice jacket because you’re taking them out for lunch?
You’re the care giver for your elderly mother and she fired her usual sarcasm at you? Smile sweetly and tell her you have a date to check out a local care facility, would she like to come along.
You’re hesitant to leave the house because your nosy neighbour is going to be peeking through the blinds and creating tall tales? Grab a beautiful scarf and run down the front walk laughing conspiratorially into your cell phone!
I did say it was all about you!
You deserve to take moments in your life and make them all about you. For the sake of this narrative, I used the analogy of getting ready for a date. You, however, may choose the occasion and how you will interpret it.
By this time in our life, many of us have been children, spouses, parents, employees and caregivers – all roles that put another person first. Celebrate this lovely age by finding ways to put yourself first from time to time. Do it more often than time-to-time and it becomes easier. The easier it becomes, the quicker you are able to smile at those critics and say “Yes, a date!”. A date with a woman who has become a very good friend – she’s there every time you look in the mirror!
Agnes Knowles is a “woman of a certain age” although now in her 60s with huge plans! She runs a bunch of courses and helps women find the missing link; attitude and mindset. She guides women to rediscover their Sass, recognise their Savvy, and Create the Successful Life they yearn for … you can find her at https://sassysavvysuccessful.com/